I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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