I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
