hotel room ftw
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
