I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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