It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
