So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
