If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
