This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
