it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
