Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
