He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize