HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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