READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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