how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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