I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
