Small penises have feelings too.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
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If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
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I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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