I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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