At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
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