How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
