You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
