ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
