It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
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Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
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Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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