Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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