I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
