when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
