Don't make out with my wife yet
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
