I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
