omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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