Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
