i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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