Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
