I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
