i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
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margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
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