Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize