Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
