I puked a lego.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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