Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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