We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
