your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
