You really coming over, don't trick.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
