Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
That accounts for only three of the penises
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
