So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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