WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
