I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
