I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
