Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
