Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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