he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
how drunk are you?
Several
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize