do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize