are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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