I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize