he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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