fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
