Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It's blow job season.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize