saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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