I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
