you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
