I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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