so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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