I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize