If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
