I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
