Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
