I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
