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You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
