If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
