wanna go halves on a baby?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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