Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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